I Don't Want a Doula Because I Want My Birth to Be PRIVATE!

I Don't Want a Doula Because I Want My Birth to Be PRIVATE!

For the third day of World Doula Week,

doulas all over the country are blogging

to bust some myths and misconceptions about doula care. I'm going to talk a little bit about some things I have heard from parents who say they are not going to hire a doula...

“I want my birth to be private.”

“I don't want a stranger at my birth.”

“I just want it to be me and my husband at the birth, so we don't need a doula.”

These statements speak to some slight misconceptions about what doulas do, as well as about the realities of giving birth in our local hospitals. So let's talk about those!

1. Privacy

I love that you want privacy at your birth! Privacy is known to be a powerful component in helping labor progress, because it's important that you feel safe and comfortable, not watched like a zoo exhibit!

However, the presence of a doula won't ruin your privacy –

we actually help you enjoy your desired level of privacy!

We can help you make a social media plan to protect the privacy of your birth announcement, help you make sure the hospital knows not to send up any visitors or students, and even stand outside the door to alert others if you need a little alone time.

2. Strangers

We may not have known you your whole life, but you'll sure feel like it by the time you go into labor!

We spend time meeting with you prenatally to get to know you – your wishes, your fears, your likes and dislikes – as well as just enjoying each other's company.

When the time comes to meet you at the hospital for your birth, we may be one of the only people there who ISN'T a stranger to you, and that leads to the next point...

3. Just me and my spouse

The reality of giving birth at the hospital is that it won't ever really just be you and your partner.

The hall of delivery rooms is hopping with doctor, nurses, anethesiologists, cleaning and meal staff, and other hospital personnel. If you are taking any medications during labor or have any high risk factors, there will be even more personnel. There will also be shift changes at 7am and 7pm where you will get a new crop of nurses, residents, and staffers.

Your doula is the only constant presence amid the ever-changing faces, and you'll be so glad to have her at your side when your partner needs to go to the bathroom, eat, nap, or remember some of those fancy techniques from childbirth classes!

We love to facilitate the bond between the parents,

rather than “taking over” the spouse's job.

These facts aren't meant to discourage you, but to show how a doula can actually be a beautiful part of a birth plan of privacy and familiarity, enhancing the special bond between you and your loved one!

Did you enjoy this post? Check out:

Day 1, World Doula Week:

What's the Wichita Doula Difference?

Day 2, World Doula Week:

The End of Mom-Isolation: An Important Facet of Postpartum Doula Care

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