The "Having a Second Baby" Jitters
When you are expecting your first baby, there's a certain advantage that you will only have this one time:
The bliss of ignorance.
You are a bit anxious about giving birth, but excited and full of optimism. You aren't sure what the pain of contractions feel like, or what it will be like to get used to breastfeeding, and you definitely haven't put much thought into the reality of sleep deprivation.
So once you have experienced the emotional and physical roller coaster of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, when the time comes to do it all over again for a second child you might have to stop and catch your breath when you remember that in a few short months you will be going through labor once more.
Fear of giving birth is normal - you are simply remembering how challenging it was and working to accept that you must do it again.
We know that fear and stress can have negative effects on your birth, so we try to manage them with meditation, prayer, yoga, reading, and plenty of support in hopes of relaxing and letting the body do its thing.
I would like to invite you to realize that you, having your second baby, now have a new advantage:
The gift of experience.
You now have a point of reference to compare to. You know what it's like, and what you can do differently this time in order to get your needs met. Didn't get enough support last time? Didn't know all the tips and tricks for labor pain back then? Didn't know what you needed to feel supported, relaxed, and in control? Now you do.
You traded the fear of the unknown for the power that comes from knowledge and experience. That's called wisdom.
You can now gauge how much help and support you will need. You can take charge.
- Take classes or read books to fill in any gaps of knowledge on birth, infant care and feeding, etc.
- Line up sufficient help from your friends, family, church, etc. with meals and babysitting
- Have the numbers of your PCP, pediatrician, lactation consultant, etc. close by
- Hire a doula to support and coach both you and your partner to have the most relaxing, intimate, and comfortable birth
- Book daytime and/or overnight postpartum care to help you feel in control, rested, alert, and patient with two little ones to care for while recovering from birth.
